An Awesome Blog

Please check out this blog by a friend of mine.  I'm so impressed with his arguments and agree 100 percent.  I believe in free will, not an elect.  I believe that Christ died for ALL mankind, not just a chosen few.  Check it out:

www:calvinex.blogspot.com/

Another thought for today.  Jesus was truly revolutionary 2000 years ago, and His ideas are revolutionary today.  Love God, Love Others (even those who are difficult to love), forgive, be a servant to all.  Gandhi once said he would be a Christian if he had ever met someone actually living according to the teachings of Christ.  Why?  Because it is revolutionary and we all fall short.  But that is the standard we should be attempting to achieve.  Be a Revolutionary.

Viva la Revolution!

 

What do Methodists believe?

Methodists DO have beliefs.

We believe in openness regarding doctrinal issues.  Wesley encouraged a “catholic” or universal spirit for all Christians, a willingness to be open to other ideas, and to work closely with, those we differ with in matters of worship and teachings that do not detract from the essence of basic Christian beliefs.

Methodists do not believe we are the one true church, but that we are a movement with a particular mission among the broader body of Christian believers.

The Bible is the primary source and testimony for our faith.

We do not teach the “infallibility” of the Bible as we realize it has been translated many times from the original scripts and that while it was originally written by Jews using Hebraic thought and language and then was translated into other languages using western thought processes.  We do believe that the Bible is the revelation of God’s teachings for us, and that the truth of life according to God’s revelation is found within.

We believe in the established traditions of Christianity as well as our own personal experiences with God.  The Bible is the primary source of learning, but it is not solitary, and we are to use reason, tradition, Biblical teachings, and our own personal experiences to understand God and have a personal relationship with Him.

We believe in the unity of the Bible, as we believe that the Bible tells us a single, unified story that focuses on man’s inability to reach God, but God’s great love for us, and His Grace in the solution that Christ offers every human being.

We believe that God is still active in our lives and in the Church today.

We affirm the ancient Christian Creeds.

We believe that God’s gifts of Grace and our own reason is available to all persons to assist in our discernment of God in our lives and the need for moral responsibility and illumination from study of the Bible.

We believe in personal experiences regarding God’s active love in our lives.  This allows divine illumination of our personal gifts, and when combined with our reason allows us to clarify the truth of the scriptures.

We believe in the Weslayan Quadralateral for Christian growth.  The Bible is primary, but not solitary for study, and that we also have reason, tradition, and experience to help us understand God’s will.

We believe in the Trinity of God; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  One in three parts, such as ice, steam, and water are all part of the same whole.  God is without body or form and that Christ is of one being with the Father and is both fully human and divine.

We place an emphasis on the intensely personal nature of worshipping God, and believe that all Christians should constantly seek a deep, personal relationship with Him.

We cannot save ourselves.  We are sinful and that we are only saved through God’s gift of grace.

We believe that Grace is available to all human beings, so that all may be saved through it.  We do not believe in the Chosen or the Elect.

We believe in free will as a result of God’s Grace.  We are free to choose Him or reject Him.

We believe God is universally available to all, not just to an elect.

We reject predestination as we believe salvation is available to all people.

We believe that good works are signs of God’s Grace at work within us.  In other words, we do good works because we are Christians, not to be a Christian.

We believe that God’s initiative in salvation allows for, empowers, and requires a free human response to God’s amazing Grace.

We believe that we can understand God’s Grace in Prevenient, Justifying, and Sanctifying manners.  Prevenient Grace is God’s everlasting love for us, the idea that he loved us so much as to die for us even before we were born.  He is constantly wooing us, loving us, and supporting us even before we have accepted Him as our savior.  Justifying Grace is the moment we accept Him as our savior.  We are then justified in the sight of God, as all our sins are forgiven (past, present, and future).  Sanctifying Grace is our ongoing development in our Christian walk growing closer to Him, developing a personal relationship with Him, and allowing Him to work through us.

We believe you can lose God’s Grace and justification only by choice.  If you reject Him after knowing His Grace, than you have fallen from Grace.  We reject the totality of the “once saved, always saved” idea.

We believe Christians should seek personal piety by serving the two greatest commandments of Christ:  Love God, Love Others.

We believe in the universality of Grace, salvation, and the Church as a body of believers (not denominations).

We believe that all baptized Christians are called to ministry or the Priesthood of all believers.

We believe in the means of Grace that develop our personal relationship and worship of God.  These include attending worship services, preaching, the Lord’s Supper, prayer, study of scripture, and fasting.

We believe in two sacraments:  Baptism and Communion.

We believe that the Communion table is God’s table, not a Methodist one, and that all Christians are invited to accept Communion and worship.

We believe in frequent Communion to remember Christ’s sacrifice for us.

We believe in a final judgment of all mankind, and that those who are saved shall attain heaven with God, while those that reject him will suffer eternal condemnation and separation for the love and truth of God.

We reject the idea of Purgatory.

We believe in living a methodical way of life regarding study of scriptures, prayer, and worship to grow in our sanctification, and that our lives should reflect these Christian ethics of life in the community, personal morality, and seeking social morality as well, by avoiding evil, doing good, and keeping to the ordinances of God.

We believe in the openness of Christianity and reject the idea of secret societies.

We should guard our speech and always seek to heal and reconcile, not hurt or inflame.

We believe in sexual intimacy in marriage only.

We believe that every individual should earn all the money they can, save all they can, and give away all they can.

We seek social morality by charitable giving, seeking justice for the oppressed, and mercy for all.

This is why I am a Methodist.

Kairos Letters

The following are abstracts taken from letters written by the men of Kairos 54. This is what we are called to do.   “Love others as yourself.”

“It has truly been a life changing experience….and although this feeling I am experiencing now might not last forever I know in my heart that the memory will!  Though I am behind these walls today I am truly free.”

“I’ve learned that no matter how fare one goes off into the ocean of despair, God is always faithful to save you when we call out to Him to rescue us!  Such amazing grace!”

“I got to know God.”

“…just to remind you of the very words Christ spoke—“very well done thou good and faithful servant.  You made a difference and I want to say God bless you…”

“Your Christian actions have inspired me to take on a personal relationship with the Lord.  To better myself so I can be able to motivate and inspire others by what God has done for me.”

“Kairos has given me the light of forgiveness and a taste of real love, Unconditional love, His Love!”

“I am a 340lb 6’4” Black man.  I have 40 years to do.  I thought I was too manly to come to Kairos.  Now I feel like more of a man.”

“I came here a non-Christian to become a true Christian and now I’m ready to give it my life.”

“…I know I am free….I believe in the faith of Jesus Christ, the Real Jesus Christ now, and that these four days have opened the door to everlasting joy!”

“It has taught me how to grow in Christ and how I can promote God’s works to everyone I come into contact with.  I have witnessed God’s incredible power at work, turning hardened criminals into soft mounds of warm loving clay wanting to be reformed into what God wants them to be.  The transformation of lives and the love I have witnessed has been overwhelming.”

“I know that it will help me become a better person by the time that I get out of this place.”

“Because of you and others like you and others like you, I’ve enjoyed a sense of peace and tranquility in a place where bad things and bad situations produce bad attitudes and bad people.”

“This has created an excellent opportunity and environment to reach the unreachable, to touch the untouchable, and to love the unloveable.”

“Dear Brethren—here is a poem to show my appreciation:  I Wake

I wake to breath

The hope fraught air

Of dream reborn

Of gone despair

In every facet radiantly

The dawn is breaking there…

I wake to find

Deep meaning sown

Within a heart

Of crumbling stone

A bright and Shining vision of

True love that bids me home…”

“I have been a Christian for most of my life.  Kairos has showed me that Christianity is not a personal, passive thing.  It has showed me the need to be God’s ambassador and servant to the men around me.”

“As a candidate of #54 Kairos I thank you for helping to change the weeping of my night, to joy of the morning.”

“When a man comes from a past that is as filthy and ragged as mine, it is hard to understand the love that has been shown to me.”

“I learned that even a reject like me is loved by someone.  I learned forgiveness.  I can honestly say, that I have never forgiven anyone before.  But last night I forgave every hurt I was holding in my heart.  All the hate, pain, heartache, stress.”

“Seeing the love of God work through all of you is living evidence that our Lord Jesus Christ was expressing to us during His short time here.  It is very much a reality to me, even more so now than ever before.”

“I exist in a very dark place, prison, and I have great faith that enables me to face each day.  I know what loneliness is, I know what despair is.  God shows me what love is, what hope is….When light walks into a dark place the darkness must leave. “

“It is rare that people like us (inmates) get to step away from the everyday life of prison.  The constant tension, repetition, and stress.  These last four days have made me feel human again.  Thank you for letting me feel this agape love.  I’ve watched men torn down and built back up to be what God wanted us to be.”

“Over the last four days, we felt so much love.  I’m talking about a love that I didn’t think still existed….I thank God for giving me the opportunity to experience this love so I can be able to share it with others.”

“The experience of me being here in “Kairos” has touched my heart and made me see the big picture on life.  I found out that if we accept Jesus into our life, he will never leave us or forsake us!  I truly believe that.”

“Sometimes a person feels alone and it’s tough to open up to someone you don’t know or haven’t seen before.  But you did that without any judgment in your soul.”

“Many lives and hearts are now changed and that we can move in the right direction.”

“My heart cried out when I was given blessing, prayers, letters, and as the fellowship was shared and stomach filled, so was I filled with the Spirit you guys and women and children have given me. “

“This experience has given me a fully illustrated vision of the bigger picture of life and has given me the motivation to get back on the right track…this movement creates vision and hope for those in need of spiritual guidance”

“I was finally able to forgive a man that I had no intention to forgive, “ever” who I had hated for almost 17 years but against my will God has taken that from me!  Imagine that?  What a wonderful feeling, to be able to forgive, and even better feeling that God give us a glimpse every now and again to see the love that our human forms cannot contain but that is waiting for us after we leave this place to join Him….I have been crying and weeping over everything (Love) and it is so nice to be able to experience emotions again.  God is Good!”

“The love that [is] generated through this program is unbelievable.  And as an incarcerated individual the love that was provided this weekend we don’t see often.”

“I was able to remove a big load of unforgiveness towards myself and others.  I was able to open the door to my heart and let the Lord in.  I will be able to be a changed man, and be better to my wife and my kids.”

“A lot of us growing up are taught that familial (family love) is the greatest and never ending love, only to come to prison and find out, that if you mess up bad enough family will abandon you too.  Then sets in bitterness, regret, hostility, etc.  Due to the rejection…Only to one day find out people that never knew you in life, cares about your life, and this is done by the example of WWJD.  So we begin to see, to wonder, to ponder.  What is life like as a sincere Christian as a new creature at the hand of God and His Guidance”

“Your efforts speak love to the soul of the lonely, oppressed, and stricken person.”

Kairos 54: Returning to the World

Sunday was bittersweet.  All of us knew this was the end of a fantastic time of love and celebration.  Each of the men were to return to their prison lives and all of the inside team would return to the world.  We continued with a few more talks and discussions as well as more meditations.  I wrote each of the men a second letter telling them what I had learned from each of them and what my prayers for each of them were.  Harold told me again how much he appreciated our prayers and how he had never known love in his life.  That he had been a child of the streets, been gang banging to survive since he was 12, but that he had given his life to Christ and that all we wanted now was to do his time and go be a father to his daughters.

Two inmates came to me at two different times and said they wanted to apologize to a teacher for all the problems they had caused their teachers through the years.  At lunch I spoke at length to Jose about how he needed to get out of the gang if he really wanted to change his life.  That afternoon they signed my notebook and I found two letters that Jose and Gavin had slipped in when I wasn’t looking.

Here is Gavin’s message to me:

“God is good.  God is Great.  Continue to work for God and watch those who break free of sin because of your Christian Action.  Never let the Devil steal your passion, for Christ is our Lord and Savior.  Your brother in Christ, Gavin.  I Love you Ed.”

Here is what Terry wrote:

“They called him Master, Father, Lord, Savior, Friend, God, but the best name of all was Teacher.   I love you Brother.  God Bless you.”

Sonny wrote, “Thank you for being my brother.  I needed it.  I love you. God Bless.”

Reyes wrote, “Que Dios te Bendiga mucho para siempre!”

Jose’s letter was the longest, and I know it was something he had to work on to complete: 
“Mr. Ed.  I want to thank God for blessing us with the chance to even have met you…along with the rest of the family.  “You” for some weird reason , for some way, some how feel good and have given me a real friend and positive vibe.  You remind me of my teachers and family who tried to help me and cared to see me succeed in life, but then I was too childish and lost-minded to all the negative things that I believed would be cool and real.  But they weren’t and still to this day I still get lost and caught in wrong things even though I know  they are wrong.  But I’m no longer blind; I know real and believe that one day soon I will be man enough to make a full change.  If only I can have friend’s like you to not JUDGE me, to keep it real and keep me comfortable and MOTIVATED.  I see parole for the second time, and if I come home I want to help other kids just like I was with the same surroundings, friends, and crazy life style.  I believe I can get into the young people’s minds and hearts because I been there and done that, and I’m still trying to get it together.  I come to make a change.  If I ever cross your mind and heart, know that I will be here as a friend.  Now and with God’s love, when I get out.  Thank you for your love, time, and true care.  Jose AKA J-Smurf.”

Eventually we went to the closing ceremony where the free worlders were now separated from the inmates and were joined by previous Kairos inmates as well.  It was an open mic session and any man that wanted to could speak about the Kairos experience.  Terry spoke twice.  First about how he had finally been able to forgive others.  The second time he took the mic and said, “You know, when I was in school at Hastings, I was a trouble maker.  Most of my teachers hated to see me coming and usually they would just point at the door and say “Get Out!”  I would go down to Mr. Wetterman’s class, knock on the door and he would let me in.  He welcomed me, put up with me, and taught me my love of history.  I love you for that.  Thank you for being my teacher.”  The whole place stood and applauded, I just cried.

During the final talk, a prisoner who helped lead the inside Kairos weekend stood up and spoke about giving his life to God.  He was 25 years old and he was in Ferguson for Life.  He would never get out, but his faith was in Christ and that one day he would be free in Heaven worshipping God and feeling love surround him forever.  He spoke about the gangs in prison and warned them that they could not serve two masters, it was either Christ or the Gang, and that if they wanted heaven they had to make a choice.  I watched as these words hit Jose.  He was crying, and nodding, and staring at me. I know he was remembering the conversation I had had with him about that very subject.  When it was time to leave, the brothers in white all stood and applauded us as we left. I hurt for my boys and pray that they can stay strong and that their hearts are truly changed and that they can continue on the Christian path in that dark place.

I can’t wait to go back again. 

Kairos 54: Saturday, What a Blessing

Saturday was a big day. 

It began with a morning meditation, discussion and a few new talks.   The men who had come a day and a half before as standoffish and unsure, were up and dancing to I’ll Fly Away and Riding the Train, and the Kairos song.  Several began giving their lives to Christ and even Reyes began opening up.  I really began forming friendships with the men and Jose began really opening up to me.  He had been in gangs his whole life and was in a prison gang.  He said he was troubled, because he wanted to be a Christian, but stated he didn’t think he could give up the gang as they had been his life in prison.  He has two sons, and he misses them terribly.  In fact all the men at my table except Terry and Sonny had children.  Wayne has an 18 year old son, Reyes has five children, and  Gavin has a 16 year old son.  Wayne stated that his son was much wiser than he was, had stayed out of trouble and out of gangs and was very focused on his education and was planning on going to college.  His son had visited him last weekend and that he felt blessed that God had taken care of his family, when his choices had not allowed him to.  Gavin showed us a picture of his son playing football.  Reyes began opening up about his family.  He told me he found it hard to trust anyone, but that he had accepted Christ last year.  His oldest son, at 17, had written him a letter that broke his heart and led to him seeking God.  He gave me the letter and asked that I read it to the table.  The letter his son wrote was angry.  He asked “Why did you choose drugs and gangs over your family.  I  need a father and you are not here.”  Reyes then told us his story.  He worked for one of the big Mexican gangs running drugs from Mexico to Georgia.  He had been a leader and had made so much money that he owned ranches, trucks, and lived in a mansion. He had been arrested at 22 years old and had spent most of the last two decades in prison.  His heart was broken by his failure to be a father to his son.  He stated he was up for parole soon and he was afraid he might go back to the gang for easy money.  He stated that when he gets out, they will meet him, give him ten to twenty thousand dollars of seed money, and get him back into it.  He stated he was going to tell them no, that he had accepted Christ and that they would leave him alone, but they would be watching him.  He said if I do anything, drugs, etc., that they would be angry with him and possibly kill him.  We wanted to get out, get his kids and move to Fort Worth or somewhere far from the valley. 

  At lunch Sonny opened up to me and stated that he had spent the past ten years in prison, and had 15 more to go.  He stated he had been in the Air Force, suffered severe burns on his hands, and had been mustered out.  He had a hard time finding a job, got into drugs and soon was involved in an aggravated assault where a man had been killed.  He cried remembering what had happened. “ All I want is a life out of here.  To get married, have children, be a dad.”  I know he was doing the punishment for his crime and deserved it, but that God had forgiven him and that there is a life for him when he gets out.  We discussed this and he prayed with me.

Terry had a way of deflecting whenever things got heavy.  He used jokes and a tough exterior to deflect, but there were many times I saw the wall being broken down stone by stone.  He told me that no one in the world cared about him, unconditionally, except for his Grandmother.  He challenged me, stating “Are you going to come back?  Do you really care?”  He found it difficult to believe that all these men would give up their time and money to come into the prison just to show agape love

Jose began to open up to me as well.  He had been so distrusting of me at first, but by Saturday he was very open with me and had shed a few tears.  He told me that tattoo picture on his neck was his father, who still loved him and still visits with him.  He was hurting about his kids, as he stated “their mother won’t let them communicate with me.”  He stated he would be up for parole soon, but he didn’t know what he would do out in the world.  He had been in prison for half his life.  He was honest and said he was still in a gang and wasn’t sure he could get out of it.  We talked and I witnessed to him that if he truly wanted to change his life through Christ, he would have to leave the gangs.  That if he stayed in them, it wouldn’t be long before he was back in prison.  He cried and hugged my neck, the pain of  a father missing his family, a lost person in a deep hole.  Later he drew a poster of a ladder of Christ descending into a deep hole to allow you to crawl out to glory, freedom, and love.  God was truly working on Jose throughout the weekend.

Wayne was a Christian, who quoted the Bible, and loved the Agape he felt.  He might have been one of the inside team with his sharing of wisdom and Christ’s love for all.

Gavin was quiet, just as he had been in school, but he took it all in and wowed us with the following poem:

“Christian Action….What it is, or should I say what it was, it really don’t matter because we are all from up above.

Heaven is the Home of peace and happiness.  Look at this world today.  Can you tell me what is happening?  Destruction we bring to this world of ours, when will we stop?  Today?  Tomorrow?  Next year? 

The pain we bring amongst ourselves make me shed a tear.  Selling drugs, shooting slugs, walking around the world with mean mugs.  Why not walk around showing love and giving hugs, too much pride got us messed up.  Open your eyes and make a change, accept Jesus in your life to erase the pain because God is at your door, if you really want to change.”

Harold Z______, Tracey’s prayer partner sought me out.  “I hear your wife is praying for me.”  He said with tears in his eyes.  “I need it brother.  I need to know people care.  My grandmother is raising my daughters, and she is sick.  Please prayer for us.  Tell your wife how much her doing this means to me.”  I hugged him and stated I would tell her, and that others were praying for him as well.

It was George’s birthday, and at lunch we all sang Happy Birthday to him.  He came to me in the evening and hugged me stating that this was the best birthday he had ever experienced.

That day I, as one of four newbies, were taken out to do the Prison cookie run.  Two Kairos servants assisted us (they did all the real work of handing out the cookies).  Our job was to smile and speak to each man in the institution.  It was easy on the regular cell blocks.  The men were all happy to get the cookies, and most wanted to shake my hand and say thank you.   I greeted them with a smile, God bless you, and when I saw someone who seemed to need it, I promised them that we were praying for them.  The small cells were really tiny, and there were two metal bunk beds in each, with a small toilet.  The movies don’t do such a place justice.  The smell, the feel, and the sight of it will remain with me forever.

I then went to the Ad-Seg, or Administrative Segregation cell block, where men were separated from everyone else for 23 hours a day in their small cells.  When we first entered, they were yelling, cussing, and talking about Kairos Cookies.  I had to wear a flak vest to be allowed into the cell blocks.  It was amazing to me how when I approached  each of the cells, the men would stop whatever they had been doing or saying and give me a hard stare.  I would smile and say, “God Bless you.  Enjoy the cookies.  We are praying for you.”  Every one of the men, nodded, smiled, said thank you, or returned a God Bless you too.  It was an eye-opening experience.

Saturday evening we took part in a forgiveness ceremony, where we forgave those we had not forgiven before.  Terry was really taken by this, and crying he revealed to me that he had never forgiven anyone for anything before, but that the ceremony meant a lot to him.  Again he asked me, “Are you really coming back to visit me?”  I promised that I would, as it is a vital part of the Kairos ministry that we come out every month for groupings.  By the time we all parted ways, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.  Imagine hardened criminals, gang bangers, tattooed all over, with scars, one man with Adolf Hitler tattooed on the back of his neck, all hugging each other and sharing, and singing, praying, and laughing together.  It was a sight to see!

Here are a few other observations I made.  I witnessed one inmate witnessing to a guard about Christ’s love and forgiveness.    One of them said, “When we leave here and go back to the blocks, what had been a dungeon for us, isn’t any longer.  We’ve been set free.”  Jose cried remembering his mother telling him, “Tell me who you are running with, and I’ll tell you who you are.”  Wayne said, “I’ve been in prison a long time.  I appreciate the blessings God has given me since I’ve been locked up.  He looks out for my family and keeps them safe.”  Another man said, “Behind bars, I have lots of time to think.  What I shoulda, coulda, woulda.  It’s time to make better choices.  We can’t do none of this without God!”

It had been a very good day.  I had what I had come for.  I had seen Christ reflected in these men.

               

Kairos 54: Friday a Revelation

We ate breakfast, had a quick team meeting where we turned in one more letter for an alternate that had joined the group, then reentered the prison.  Some of the guards looked at us like we were crazy to come into the prison, some seemed indifferent to us, but there was one guard who would check us in everyday, who was friendly, but distant.  I wasn’t sure how he felt about us at the time, but I would learn. 

As the brothers in white came in that morning, they were again greeted with cheers and I met Tony and George and took them to their assigned tables.  I then went to my table (Table of Matthew) with the Table Leader, Robert, and the other Assistant Table Leader, Arlo.  Robert is a quiet, well-spoken man who is a picture of quiet dignity.  Arlo is an African-American with a quick smile, and the love of God exuding from everything he did and said. Before the Brothers in White arrived, we each prayed for the men that would be joining us on the table of Matthew.  I prayed that God would reveal himself to them, and that they would find what they needed.  I prayed that their walls would be torn down and that they would allow Jesus to enter their hearts.

We were then introduced to our Brothers in White who would also be part of the Family of Matthew. Wayne, was in his late thirties, a short, good looking African-American with piercing golden eyes that I found somehow familiar.   He was quiet and reserved, though he seemed to be enjoying the experience.  Next was Reyes.  He was in his mid to late 30s, a Hispanic man with a regal bearing and slight build. He seemed very distrustful and wary of all of us.   Next came a tall, good looking white fellow who I expected to be in his mid-20s though he was actually 32.  He reminded me of my cousin Sonny Wayne, so I’ll call him Sonny.  He had “sleeves” which were tattoos going from his elbows down to his wrists.  He was very polite and seemed receptive to what was going on.  Then Terry the Gamer joined us.  He grinned at seeing me at his table. His grin seemed so familiar to me. Next came Jose, a small statured Hispanic male, with a tough demeanor and tattoos everywhere with full sleeves, and more on his neck and back.  On the left side of his neck was a tattoo of an older gentleman.  He was quiet and seemed distrustful at our first meeting. He sat directly on my right, while Wayne was on my left.  Across the table we were joined by Gavin, the last pilgrim, a light-skinned African American in his late 20s.  He had a quick smile and wore large glasses and he also seemed very familiar to me. 

  As we began the first talk and meditation, I couldn’t shake the sense of knowing Wayne, Terry and Gavin from somewhere.  At the first break I asked Terry if he had played football, and he stated he had been starting left tackle at his high school and he gave me a funny look of expectation, that I didn’t quite understand.  Robert asked him where he had played football, and he grinned, looking at me, “Hastings High School.”  My mouth dropped open.  This was how I knew Terry.  He had been a student in my World History Resource class at Hastings High School in the mid 90s.  He laughed, “You remember me now don’t you!”  I nodded and grinned in shock, not quite believing this.  Wayne and Gavin also looked perplexed and both admitted they had also attended Hastings High School.  Wayne had attended from 91 to 93, and though I hadn’t taught him, I realized I had seen him before.  Gavin laughed and said he had also gone to Hastings, and he too had been my student.

Now I ask you, what are the odds that in all the great state of Texas, in all the institutions, that I would be sitting at a table with 3 kids who went to the school I taught at, and two of which were actually my students?  As a Christian I believe God set who would be at these tables, and this was proof I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.  This knowledge unlocked so much between all of us, and soon we were sharing Hastings memories.  I told Gavin I didn’t remember his name, but I remember him and that he had been a quiet, good student.  He stated he had changed his name, but that his Christian name had been Tommy G________.   I remembered that name well.  I also remember Terry.  He had been a true ADHD kid in my class. Always up and bouncing around the classroom, a class clown, who always got in trouble in most other classes but who had really loved history.

As I looked around the room I realized that all these men could have been my students.  Every year we have a few kids who are difficult, who run with gangs, get involved with drugs, and who believe no one cares about them.  As I thought about this, I began to cry.  We must do all we can to save these kids, before they too have to come to this horrible place.

I was to go out of the prison and bring in the lunches.  The big officer helped me bring it all in and get it into the prison.  I realized he really was happy we were here, though he still spoke only a little to us.

We spent Friday discussing God’s love, Agape love, and choices.  We prayed, meditated on individual truths, and shared much.

After noon they brought in a prayer chain with each paper circlet containing a name of a person who was praying for them this weekend.  It went all the way around the room, probably 300 feet long.  It made an impression on them, and us.  I had never seen a prayer chain that long, it took about twenty men to bring it in, and hang it up around the room.   I made sure to check in with George and Tony, and by the end of the day they were both smiling and enjoying themselves.  I heard one of the brothers in white commenting, “I don’t even feel like this is prison.  I feel like I’ve come home.”

That night Tracey joined us and she would work Friday night and all day Saturday on the outside team. She was also praying for an individual brother in white named Harold Z________. 

Kairos 54: Wednesday to Thrusday

This testimony is long, but so much happened.  I'm breaking it into three parts.  May the story bless you and keep you.

I had heard of Kairos for years as I had been very active in the Emmaus Community.  I had promised Crazy Ray Coward that once my time with Emmaus was over I’d come over to Kairos.  So after the Fall of 2011 I had been a Lay Director for Emmaus Walk 86, Ray called.  He asked me to work in the July Kairos Walk, but due to boy’s summer camp I couldn’t do it.  I told him I’d do it during the Holiday season .  All I knew about Kairos is that it was a prison ministry designed to show Agape love to those who know little of love.

I started attending meetings in October of this year.  We had four full day meetings to prepare as an inside team for the Kairos 54.  The Lay Director, Paul Draper, did a great job teaching us about our roles in the Walk, what we could legally do and not do, and previewing Christian talks (much like Emmaus).

I’ve never been inside a prison, and certainly not a maximum security prison like Ferguson.  The prison is huge and holds up to about 2500 prisoners, most with multiple year sentences to life.    It also takes almost 500 guards  In order to carryout the Kairos Weekend it takes about 25 team members who will go into the prison including several clergy, and another 25 or so Kairos graduates  from previous walks who work as Table Servants and make sure everything is in place to support the walk on the inside (remember these are current inmates who have given their lives to Christ and want to show love for others through service).  There is also an outside team of 5 to 20 individuals who prepare and transport all the agape, cookies, and meals during the weekend.  Kairos Cookies are a big part of the ministry.  It takes about 3000 dozen cookies for each weekend event.  Basically most wardens would not allow us to bring in a dozen cookies for just the 42 inmates as this would be considered “special treatment,” but if we agreed to provide every inmate in the prison and every guard  a bag of a dozen cookies it would be allowed.

I went to my church (First United Methodist Church of Caldwell), Area 3:16, and Friendship Baptist and explained to them the purpose of Kairos and asked for their support for the walk.  They pulled through in a big way by baking and packaging over 160 dozen cookies.  My wife Tracey made another 40 dozen.  Before Christmas our refrigerator, and freezer were totally packed with cookies.  So much so that there was no room for Christmas leftovers.  The churches also signed up for the prayer chain (promises to pray during the weekend), and I ended up with over 8 sponsors for inmates.  To sponsor an inmate for the Walk costs $125.00 (this pays for food, supplies, and other extras).  My Methodist Men brothers also sponsored me for the weekend to pay for the food and the hotel room.  It was a true outpouring of Christian love and I am very grateful to all who helped.  I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention Marge Witz, and several other folks in Bryan (including Preston Dubose) who also volunteered dozens of cookies to support this endeavor.

So Wednesday afternoon I packed up and set out for Madisonville the the large First Baptist Church there who had graciously agreed to allow us to use their gym and kitchens as a base of operations.  We also had the services of four men from the local House of Hope who came in to cook all the meals.  The team assembled and held a final training and finished writing 42 individual letters and placing the letters in each of the inmates bags.  Yes that’s 25 people writing 42 individualized letters each.  After the meeting I went to the local motel and it is a total rat trap.  Holes in the walls, little lighting, forty or more years old, with a major cold draft coming through the front door, little water pressure (crossed your fingers every time you flushed the toilet), and it was kinda scary parking and walking up to the room.  Of course mine was in the very back of the motel on the second floor.   

Got up Thursday morning and attended a Prison training by a Captain and the Chaplain.  They explained all the dos and don’ts while we were in Prison and the Chaplain said he didn’t believe in “Rehabilitation” but “Regeneration,” and that he had seen many changes in the men who had attended previous Kairos Walks.  We were also warned not to wear anything white in the prison, “Wear white and spend the night.”  We were also reminded by Paul that we were not to ask about their conviction, what they had done, or how much time they had left.  That was not the purpose we were there.  We were going to share God’s love with these men.

Thursday evening we drove to the prison.  My first impression was just how big the entire complex was, surrounded by fences and razor wire.  We were met and checked in by the Chaplain, then went through the metal detectors and a full pat-down/search before being led into the prison proper.  We went through one big gated door to a waiting area.  A sign hung on the wall that said, “No hostages will ever be permitted beyond this sign.”  I couldn’t help but wonder what laid beyond the next gate.

We entered the main corridor of the prison.  Prisoners always walk single file against the wall, while “Free Worlders” are to walk in the middle of it.  I saw about 70 men lined up to be taken somewhere.  They eyed us suspiciously, but no words were said.  I forced myself to meet them eye to eye, and said, “God bless you.” A few seemed shocked to be spoken to, a few others nodded, and one or two said “God bless you” right back.  What really struck me about them is how young they all seemed, and how quiet they were in line.

We made it to a door that would lead up to the education center two flights of stairs up.  As we waited for the guard to open the door, I heard clapping and laughter up ahead.  As we moved up to the Education center we were greated by the Prison Team of Kairos convict-volunteers.  They were joyful, with genuine grins/smiles, applauding us for coming and greeting each one of us with a hug and a God Bless you.  Many of them knew the members of the inside team of Free Worlders from previous Kairos Walks, and the joy of reunion with friends was palpable. 

I was given two name tags for the two men I was to “host” for the evening.  I was given (changing names for confidentiality)  Tony and George.  The men in white chosen to take part in this Kairos Walk were sponsored by other prisoners, placed on a list, and had to be approved by the Warden and Chaplain.  Some of the men had waited up to seven years to be allowed to attend a Kairos Weekend.  The big draw for many of them was the “good, outside food” and the break from the monotony of Prison life.

As the pilgrims in white were escorted into the education wing, they were also greeted with applause, and each was announced as they entered.  Some grinned shyly at the attention, some laughed, some looked around like they had just landed on Mars, and a few were stone faced and unsure.  As the men’s names were called the host would move to them, say hello and place the name tag around their necks.  Tony was an older gentleman, probably in his late 40s, or early 50s.  He grinned from ear to ear feeling the joy of the occasion.  George was also a bit older, maybe in his mid 50s, and was an African American.  He had the eyes of someone who had seen and done a lot in his life, and as I would learn he had become a very wise fellow in Prison.  I took them to a table and introduced Kairos, explained what would happen during the weekend and got to know them a little bit.  And of course there were cookies which were consumed with much joy.  Tony stated he had tried for years to get onto a Kairos Walk but had always been denied, but that he was curious about it.  George said he had no idea what to expect, but he wanted to take it all in and see. My two guys were the oldest on the Walk with most of the other men being in their 20s or 30s.  We then gathered and made introductions. 

A tall, strongly built African American named Terry, stood up and stated that he enjoyed playing Dungeons and Dragons and other role-playing games and that he wanted to be a writer/game designer.  His smile was contagious, but his eyes were hard, even when he smiled.  When it was my turn to speak I stated that I was a History Teacher, which drew some derisive, yet fun boos from the group.  I also stated that I was a game designer and writer, and Terry pointed at me and mouthed, “I’m gonna talk to you.”  When I answered the question Why are you in Kairos, I stated that Jesus was very precise when he said, “visit those in prison, for when you have done this for the least of these, my family, you have done it to me.”  I told them that I had come expecting to see Christ reflected in my brothers in white.

During the break Terry did seek me out, and I told him about Savage Worlds, and asked how they play in Prison without dice.  He told me they made spinners for each die type.  Tony told me about the various  Prison recipes they had and how he could make a key-lime pie in his cell using varied ingredients.  The ingenuity of the these men really blew me away, and I thought about what they could have accomplished with such ingenuity in the free world had it not been for the drugs and gangs that got most of them locked up.

We then participated in a meditation that invited them to listen, join in, and learn from the experience.

We parted for the evening and returned to the hotel.  We had to go to sleep quickly as it was about 9 pm and we had to be back at the Church for breakfast by 6 am.